June 16, 2019

Dear St. Martin of Tours Parish Family,

I am continuing my reflection from last week on “a cup of water in the night.” There are things about my mother, my sisters, and my dog which I find annoying.

My mother, when she chews gum, makes loud popping sounds with it every fifteen seconds or so. She can’t stop. It’s a habit. I find that annoying.

One of my sisters, when she was younger, used to quietly – yet loud enough so that you could hear it – mouth the words of whatever book she was reading. It always sounded like she was saying, “Pitapata badudah pitapata badudah…” and it made me clench my teeth and want to scream. I found that very annoying.

My other sister, when she was younger, used to get up every Saturday morning – too early – to practice the drums. Her room was just underneath mine. It woke me up. I told her I didn’t like it. She did it anyway. I found that very inconsiderate and annoying.

Dash wakes me up every night around one a.m. to go outside. He also likes to bite my face as a sign of affection. Sometimes that bothers me.

There are things about my father, too, who passed away in 1997, that I found very annoying. My father smoked about ten Churchill size cigars a day. His person was permeated with the smell of Hoyo de Monterey cigars. I found that odor a bit disgusting.

However, now that my father is gone, I miss his stinky cigar smell. It was his trademark. It was him.

When my mother dies, I will miss her gum-popping. It’s the sound she makes. I have grown to love that sound because it is her sound. One day I will long for that sound.

I don’t live near Wendy or Cathy anymore. But when I visit them, Wendy still plays the drums early in the morning, and Cathy still makes the same sounds when she reads. But now, because I love my sisters so much, what once annoyed me makes me smile.

One day, Dash will be too old and tired to walk up and down the steps at night, and he will be too tired to play-bite me. When that day comes, I will be very sad.

My message to you: Reconsider those things that your spouse, parent or child does that annoy you. Those quirky imperfections of theirs – learn to love those quirks now. Because one day you will miss them. Christ loves you even in your imperfections. Let us learn from Him how to better love one another.